Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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