Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
