he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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