I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
