my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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