if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
