I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize