You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
