There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
