when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
