Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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