I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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