wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
