i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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