youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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