Whod you bang
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We are two peas in an std pod
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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