Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
being pregnant is like rehab
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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