is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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