I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
