so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
