I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is it penis luge time yet?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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