What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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