he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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