when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
