sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
