I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Randomize
