Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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