I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
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Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
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Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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