did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
