Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize