Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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