i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
