i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
