She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
