I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
