i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
