it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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