I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
