Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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