you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize