So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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