I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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