i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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