I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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