He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
