Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
