you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
jump out the window naked night went bad
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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