there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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