Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
