I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
