I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
