just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm too high and old for this...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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