I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
