But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
