based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
