Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
