im gay
i know
yea but for you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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