I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
