Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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