some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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