she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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