I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
