The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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