Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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