I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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