is wine microwaveable?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
