YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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