Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
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just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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