First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
