Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
